One Crazy Week

Well, we're actually almost two weeks into our adventure as a family of four, but this week has been largely uneventful compared to last week so let's just focus on that! Since McKinley arrived at 1:40 a.m. on Saturday, we didn't get discharged until Monday morning. I was SOOOOO excited to go home and start living a normal life. It was especially tough on Madison for me to be in the hospital so I knew we would all be happier at home! This was a big moment for me since I didn't get to take Madison home with me after she was born, and I breathed a huge sigh of relief when we pulled out of the hospital parking lot as a family after McKinley received a glowing report from the pediatrician!! Monday was great, and McKinley did very well her first night, waking up to eat at regular intervals and otherwise sleeping like a champ! Tuesday morning we had to go back to the hospital to fill out birth certificate paperwork since no one was in the office over the weekend and Monday was a holiday. Annoying.

Then Tuesday afternoon I started noticing a change in McKinley. She wasn't waking up on her own to eat anymore and was having a very hard time staying awake during her feedings. We were doing everything we could think of to try to keep her awake - poking, massaging, tickling, wiping, changing, you name it - but she was just so sleepy. This continued throughout the night and by Wednesday morning I was pretty sure something was wrong. Jordan also noticed yellowing in her eyes so we took her to the doctor first thing. He agreed that she looked jaundiced and maybe dehydrated from not eating as much as she needed to so he sent us to the hospital for blood work. They had to stick McKinley in the heel and bleed her for the tests, which was very hard for me! Her bilirubin level was high but the pediatrician thought it was probably peaking that day since she was five days old so he told us to keep working on getting her to eat and get it checked again Thursday morning, when it would probably be lower. More time at the hospital, more heel sticks. But her number on Thursday morning was actually higher and her eating was definitely not improving. She was basically stuck in a vicious cycle - her high bilirubin and dehydration was making her too tired to eat, but the most basic solution to both of those problems was eating. At this point, my anxiety level was beginning to really creep up. I had an idea where this was headed. The pediatrician suggested I stop nursing and formula feed instead for 24 hours, which was supposed to help make sure she got more fluids so she could poop/pee the bilirubin out. I was not happy with this suggestion and neither was McKinley, who ate a grand total of two ounces over a 10-hour period on Thursday. Not good. Finally, Jordan spoke with the pediatrician again and basically demanded phototherapy. Nothing we were trying was working. The doctor was very concerned when he found out how much formula she had eaten (or not eaten) and decided to admit her to the children's hospital for treatment.

I had pretty much held the worried mother card in check up to this point, but when we walked into that hospital room Thursday night and I saw the infant warmer and all the monitors, the flashbacks to Madison were just too much. I lost it. I couldn't believe I was going through this again with another baby. Now, of course, this was definitely different since I was pretty sure we weren't going to be there for 43 days, but I was just devastated that we were there at all. I really thought I did my time with Madison and deserved to experience a happy, healthy, normal newborn this time around. I tried to force my logical side to take over, like I did with Madison, and just focus on the treatment plan and the exact steps we needed to take to get McKinley back home. But it was a lot harder this time around. While I hated having to leave Madison in the NICU so much since we were only supposed to visit her every three hours, I now see that in some ways that made her stay easier on me. The nurses and doctors did all the yucky stuff when I was gone. This time, I got to stay with McKinley every second, which was very important to me but also very hard. They were checking her bilirubin levels every few hours, which meant LOTS of heel pricks and bleeding. My heart broke every time. The worst was when they put her IV in so she could get fluids to help her dehydration. I knew it was going to help her of course, but it took forever and she SCREAMED the whole time. I felt so helpless and ended up just crying by her bedside and holding her hand. Ridiculous. Even the phototherapy part sucked. She had to be constantly under the lights, which meant I couldn't hold her except to nurse, and she had to have a mask on over her eyes the whole time. As the fluids made their way into her system and her bilirubin level came down, she became more alert and awake. So at the end of each feeding she would want to look around and explore. But I just had to put her mask back on and stick her back in bed. And let's not even talk about how all of this was affecting Madison. By the time we were discharged on Saturday, I had spent five nights in an eight-night span in the hospital. Jordan would joke that he was worried someone was going to think he was kidnapping her because every time they left the hospital she would spend the whole walk to the car screaming at him to "take me back."

Anyway, let's not talk about it anymore. We spent just shy of 48 hours in the children's hospital and got to go back home on Saturday. McKinley's still a little yellow (but within an acceptable range) and we still have challenges waking her up and keeping her up for feedings, but at this point my pediatrician just thinks she's a sleepy newborn baby. I'm still scared she'll relapse but so far so good. I want to say that I'm really grateful for all the wonderful friends we have here. In addition to everyone's help with Madison, meals, etc. when McKinley was born, everyone pitched in again with the second hospital stay. We are definitely blessed to have awesome friends here even though we miss our families!

Here are some pictures from week one! We did manage a few normal moments :) I wasn't really thinking about photo opportunities when we were in the hospital the second time so I didn't have the camera, but I'm kind of disappointed now. It might've been interesting to have some of the same shots of McKinley that we have of Madison with all the wires and monitors. Then again, I think I would rather just move on! Hopefully our sweet baby girl will stay happy and healthy now!

Ready to head home from the hospital (the first time)

The Rothlisberger women. Note the two dark spots on my cheek - broken blood vessels from pushing so hard to get baby girl out. Fun times

Eyeballs! Too bad I couldn't get both girls to cooperate at the same time ... I think this will probably be the story of my life :)

I'm outta here!

Hanging out before bedtime

I always love the tongue shots ... Jordan always has his tongue out when he's concentrating on something and both my girls are the same way!

Cute baby girl

Whose toy is this anyway?!

We attempted to use tummy time to wake McKinley up so she would eat and this is what we got

One semi-happy family!